A global pandemic and weeks of cloudy, rainy days. Disrupted schedules and financial concerns. Questions without answers. What a time we’re living in. My hope is that you are practicing self-compassion for yourself and your loved ones during this period. We know that emotional, physical, and mental pain occurs in all lives AND that the human tendency is to 1. Try to fix it, 2. Ignore it, 3. Hyper-focus on it, 4. Become incapacitated by it, or 5. Lose our groundedness. There are other responses for sure; we all find ways to cope. Not all methods of coping are beneficial which is why I want to highlight the value of self-compassion.

Practicing Self-Compassion in times of Fear & WearinessSelf-compassion asks us to turn toward our pain and offer ourselves kindness for the pain we’re experiencing. If we can do this even just a little, we retain more reserves to handle what is at hand. What is kindness for you? Perhaps some soothing touch, conversations with loved ones (by phone, Skype, apps), having gratitude for the bounty of what we do have, meditation, asking ourselves what we most truly need emotionally right now. When we take care of ourselves emotionally, it becomes easier to make better decisions on our own behalf. We will be more likely to eat better, find creative ways to get exercise, do things for others that provides a sense of purpose at a time when many of us are feeling unprepared and inept to deal with our current reality. PAIN IS INEVITABLE; SUFFERING IS NOT. Suffering is the result of resisting the pain that is inevitable – and currently with us all.

It’s also important to remember this: GIVE YOURSELF GRACE WHEN YOU AREN’T ABLE TO PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION!

Here is one self-compassion practice I teach in the Mindful Self-Compassion classes: Finding Loving Kindness Phrases

 

INSTRUCTIONS: Go to a quiet place when you have some time without being interrupted. Take some deep breaths to calm yourself and when you are ready

  1. Close your eyes and ask yourself “What do I need?” Take time for this question to sink down into your deepest self so an answer rises up from within.
  2. When you are ready, open your eyes and write down what came up for you. Write them as a wish, for instance, in the form of ‘May I” as in, for example, “May I know I’m capable”
  3. Close your eyes once again once you have completed #2 and consider another question, “What do I need to hear”? Again, go as deeply as you can waiting for the right answers to bubble up. An example might be: “I believe in you” or “You’re a good person”.
  4. When you’re ready, open your eyes and write down what you discovered.
  5. Close your eyes one more time. Repeat the words over and over to yourself. Make the process as easy as possible like slipping into a warm bath.
  6. Release the phrases when you’re ready and rest in the experience.

GOOD LUCK!

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Please watch the video below; it’s a poem by John O’Donohue and it speaks to what we need right now.

May we experience care and help for our struggles,

Denette